TL;DR
Whom am I speaking to? Who is this going to help?
My Practical Experience
My Mind Dump.
I have an absolute new found respect for parents.
My goodness, raising children is EXHAUSTING!.
When you raise kids:
- You have no privacy, isolation, nor time to yourself
- Your children’s needs come before your needs
- Noise. Peace is now as much fantasy as hoping that pigs will fly, Santa comes twice a year, and the easter bunny gifts you a million dollars
- Sleep deprivation. I hope you like coffee.
- I hope you don’t mind messes. Things WILL move around, and the home will be in a constant battle against entropy. Expect constant cleaning that never seems to end, but if you don’t do it, the house will fall apart.
- “we do too much for our kids” is a sentiment that you will agree with
- Imagine having constant daylight and no time to rest, rather each day if full of loud bright stimulus and you simply adapt–that’s being a parent
- Summer time: I hope you look forward to a period of high anxiety and constant tiredness now that your kids are at home and have lots of energy
- The lack of sleep will literally make you psychotic, and the general lack of a private, quite space to yourself will make you neurotic
- Sometimes, you really just want a break from it all; just one day off for yourself
- The moment you have a kid, your spouse’s focus will lay entirely on that kid–you may feel like you “lost” a bit of love from your partner
- The more ugly truth: if you’re in an unhappy marriage, you have to decide between “wasting your life” in a marriage just for the sake of the kids, or living your life but with the guilt of wondering how your kids will turn out.
- buckle in: this isn’t you try out for a year and decide to quit; you’re in this game for at least 20 years, assuming you have no additional children. I hope you enjoy your current location, career, and lifestyle.
But is it worth it? That’s for you to decide.
- Parenting builds up your stress tolerance, to where you can actually realize more of your dreams than ever before
- Family is an intangible asset that compounds with time
- No matter how rich you are, you can never buy grandchildren
- The minor inconveniences are nothing compared to the pockets of wonder when your kids start exhibiting ideal habits
What makes raising kids easier?
- Having a large family
- “It takes a village to raise a family”
- A partner with a sense of humor and positive outlook
- No one is denying that parenting is hard–that’s a given. So, what not team up with someone who understands the costs, but is still able to maintain a positive attitude?
- A community of other parents from whom everyone can exchange tips and tricks.
Notes related to marriage, but not specifically children
The following are simply observations I’ve noticed; they are not hard rules and may change upon acquiring more experience
- In this current period, men are expected to contribute and help with raising the children; the time of separated parent roles is over (at least for now)
- HARD TRUTH: even if you are the main bread winner (you earn the most money and you pay all the bills), you will still have to discuss every decision with your spouse; be ready to have things NOT go your way
- Likewise, be prepared to start making decisions that consider your spouse. If you married someone with different goals and aspirations, this will be especially hard. This is really one of those things that helps with experience, because unless you take responsibility for someone else, it’s difficult to actually and practically practice this.
- HARD TRUTH: even if you are the main bread winner (you earn the most money and you pay all the bills), you will still have to discuss every decision with your spouse; be ready to have things NOT go your way
Relationship advice from Scott Galloway
This is an interesting read. I want to save it here for reference.