TL;DR

Part of being a student means accepting the case when you will fail, and have to resort back to the basics.

Lifelong students are never above any “small” task, if it means aligns with their goals and vision.

Admitting that I don’t know, and asking for help. An alpha would never do this; but a student would never hesitate.

Whom am I speaking to? Who is this going to help?

The alpha who’s too masculine to hurt his image.

My Practical Experience

My greatest strength became my greatest weakness.

When I was working at my first job, I was as adamant to put in the hours and to bring as much value as possible.

As time went on, I tried to push the pedal even more. I started sacrificing my safe guards (gym, meditation, healthy eating, social connections), until eventually I started “leaking” negativity, and at one point completely blown up and decided to leave the headquarters of the company I was working in. It sucked.

I let down a lot of people, because I was focused on doing everything without focusing on doing what mattered.

But the whole time, I was motivated by the ideal of being a man, and working hard.

I learned to compartmentalize my emotions.

I became easily anxious, and when I started crying, I would pull up a YouTube video of Gordan Ramsey yelling, and I would tell myself to get it together.

I should have seen the warning signs, but I simply stuffed them away, put them in my “invisible” mental box, and never “took the trash out” by dissecting what was causing my stress buildup.

I avoided asking for help, because I wanted to prove myself.

But at what cost? It all failed in the end, and I ended up in square one.

Fortunately, I have decided to rebrand myself now as a student. No matter what I do, I seek to learn and be of use as much as possible, without the “masculine” emotions coming in the way.

Rich Roll’s Story

Rich Roll’s testimony (see video here), really parallels my experience.

What’s the point in acting tough and alpha, if one day you will be stuck asking for help, or simply need to know how to do something.

Why the ‘Alpha’ Mindset does not work

It’s insecurity in disguise.

The idea behind the alpha mindset is to earn some reward, but what happens when you work so hard and don’t get what you deserved?

That’s what personally happened with me. I got a taste of validation when my manager said, “this is very good”, and I was hooked on getting that next hit of validation.

I was working hard. The first thing I would do upon waking up is start working–it was what I was 100% focused on.

But eventually, I started getting annoyed at people for not ‘holding their end’ of the bargain, and I could tell people did not like to be around me, because they could feel I was judging them. It was not a good time for anyone.

Eventually, I started mislabeling things, and I became a mental wreck. It sucked too because my performance dropped wildly, and many projects fell due to my sudden relinquish of responsibility without any preemptive communicative warning.

I was working so hard for some form of validation, and expecting that it would be handed to me if I aggressively worked hard. But it backfired, and I entered a period of deep depression and mentally unstable mood.

Other successful people didn’t start out as alphas

The classic example is Jeff Bezos. Today, he’s living the ’true’ alpha lifestyle, but if you analyze interviews beforehand, he was an unassuming “nerd”. The way he spoke, the way he dressed, the way he lived his life indicated a very excited and nerdy type of guy who was pretty low key.

Meanwhile, I follow the shiny object and look at where the big players are now rather than seeing all the tiny, hardworking, yet humble steps they took leading up to something far bigger than themselves.

If I wish to achieve greatness, I must forget greatness and seek truth, and there I will find both.

Thanks for the advice, now how can I practically put this to use in a simple way for daily execution?

Approach life from a student’s perceptive. Still seek to work hard, but don’t make it self-defeating. The purpose of all of our work is so that we can bless others with our gifts: our friends, our family, our loved ones. And to one day be the hero that kids look up to.